My mum: what are you doing?

Me: why do you want to know? (Normal tone of voice)

My mum: (screamin) if ur not in bed at 10pm sharp I will do stuff tomorrow and I will take the modem you just watch and see why do you care blah blah bitch fuck shit 

Me: lol if you take the modem I will kill myself 

because that's how she taught me to be; if you want something from someone you threaten them and I have nothing to threaten against her except my life. I know I'm messed up so suck on it