I sidnt kill myself i sat on myfloor with my wardrobe in front of my door for like many hours with a swiss army jnife with the largest knife out and a bottle of whisky red label jonny walker that my brother forced me to buy and the knife was red too but i did not kill myself because my dad came inand stopped me and made me come out fom under my bed and he was a little angry at first from this afternoon all i could do was roll around on the floor literally trying to stop my life by pulling my hair and rolling around i was very desperate. It was my all time low for my entire little existence.  i even tried to grab the bottle and knife and run out but my dad didnt let me. Eventually he talked and told me about things which is just between me and my dad who i love very much and glad that he does not give up on a pathetic lil shit i really can be spmetimes. 

Everythingi have said about suicide is stupid and untrue probably. Some things i hold a strong belief over such as womens rights and homosexual marriage and stuff and believe i am right about these however do not ever take me seriously when i am sad n suicidal because that is not megan speaking that is just a stupid thing in my mind called 'bipolar disorder' so do not believe me when i talk about death and suicide and stuff i can be very psychotic. Anyway someone will always be substantially effected when you die some ppl will feel sad which is normal but some ppl will be majorly effected and their whole life will be thrownout of whack or something it may not be your mum or dad or relative but there will always be someone i dont know how to give advice i am still suicidal a lot please dont treat me any different though please i'm still like sane i'm still me and stuff. 

I love you, a lot i feel very happy to know people humans can be interesting, cruel and creative. Not many ppl read my blog anymore probs but i think a lot of ppl found my blog on their own accord not from me telling them anyway i love you too i hate no one i am grateful for my life i am grateful for ppl and i amgrateful for ppl who are mean to me sometimes because everyone needs that. Thank you for reading my blog and thank you especially if u treat me normlly i am still human. Also to the anon in my cbox thanks for reading myblog and i'm glad you like nirvana i have been very obsessed with them lately but healthily obsessed they are a relly good band with good music albeit kurts sometimes slurred shouting voice. Anyway i got a CD called 'sliver: the best of box' with 22 songs that r like unreleased songs, demos from 1985-1993 and stuff there is some good stuff there no one buys CDs anymore but its really cool you could get it or something anyway i love u in a non-excrutiating way more the fact that u exist i love ur existence lol okay goodnight!